First Anniversary

Today is pretty much a year to the day that I was told I had a tumour. One of the more unforgettable moments of my life, being ambushed with this news in a small urologist’s office and not truly knowing the year ahead of my I had ahead of me. Six rounds of brutal chemo. An operation which has made the right side of my body a lot hollower than the left (although I’d be disappointed if none of my friends make a joke about me not having a heart). The natural hormones in my body replaced by ones i consume in pills or take via creams. Multiple unplanned hospital visits which were always a lot more serious than they seemed at the time. A needle stuck in my arm well over 100 times for either routine blood taking, semi regular intravenous infusions, or irregular blood transfusions. Dramatic changes to my body – some temporary, some permanent. A mental assault that started that day and has had its ups and downs since. And loads of other side effects, such as the smell of pizza making me feel ill, which probably would have seemed like a big thing back that but now seem minor.

All that said, I'm very happy with how things have gone as I’m still going strong, when there was a huge chance I wouldn’t be. I’ve also had a cracking year in many ways and realised just how great my family and friends are. Being alive and feeling well at this point in time, I think I really am lucky. So a time to celebrate really.

I know that the gift you normally give/receive on your one-year anniversary is paper. Today, though, I it was confirmed in hospital that I would be starting chemotherapy again. Seems I’m skipping the paper, as well as the cotton, iron, silk and crystal (I did have to check a website for all this by the way; anniversary gifts for each year not being ingrained knowledge), and going straight to platinum, which is part of the cocktail that’s going to be pumped into me again. Normally reserved for the 20^th  , I'’m happy to have it now, and the paper can wait. Or just be skipped, as its a rubbish gift. (Note: some websites said platinum, some China, but to be honest whose marriage lasts 20 years now anyway. Congratulations again to the happy couples from the weddings this month).

The news this week was more hopeful than last week. My oncologist has spoken to the lung surgeon and liver surgeon and both said that surgery was possible, but they want to make sure the cancer is stable i.e. not growing. It again comes down to risk/reward and they will only give surgery if they were confident that the cancer won't reappear somewhere and grow quickly in the meantime, which would make the operation pointless and waste my precious time recovering from an operation when I could be outside running around. One positive of the timing of this treatment though is that having the chemo now stops me from having to choose between being out in the sun or watching the cricket/tennis for the next 2 months.It probably will ruin a few plans , but I'll have managed to fit in three days of festivals before it starts so I'll make do. 

Shit shirts. In the rain. Watching Primal Scream. Loaded. 

In the meantime, if you want to see me feeling well, you don’t have long as chemotherapy starts Tuesday, and I’m pretty tied up before then. But I would very much like to see people after that. It will still be the same regime as before – 4 days of hospital, 10 days of feeling shit, 7 days of low immunity and then 7 days feeling relatively normal. Rinse. Repeat.Some times for visits are better than others but I’d be delighted to see people at any time, so long as you can handle me slurring my words more than usual, or cricket on the TV.  

Thanks to everyone who messaged me after the last post, I really appreciate the support!