Pre-surgery


A very late change of plans and surgery is now happening tomorrow morning (12th Jan). It was meant to be later in the month, but availability of surgeons has forced the issue. I’ve had a manic week of tests and x-rays to make sure I’m surgery ready and have been on the game! Imagine a mix between Ari Gold in Entourage and the Bradley Cooper on the Superdrug in Limitless. Thursday and Friday were a lot more chilled out. I’ve never had such open surgery before though, so nerves are kicking in now.

Chemotherapy is not fun. At times it can be hell. I’ve been lucky mine has been relatively successful, especially considering the shit odds I was given in June and what I’ve read online. I have also been lucky that the side effects haven’t hit me as hard as they could have. Saying that, it’s only recently I’ve realised how unwell I’ve been at times and again appreciate how good my family have been.

I’ve helped myself by taking the right drugs (anti-nausea pills, sleeping pills to help me get good rest, and anti-depressants to keep me in a good mood), but I’ve also been trying to stay active, busy and surrounded by my friends and family. Playing chess and reading have also been helpful for keeping my mind active. I have been helped massively by my sister who has been amazing and has taken care of all houses things, particularly cooking, my mum and dad who were always there for support in every way and my friends who have always found time to work from home, take time off or spend evenings with me to help keep me busy, having fun, keeping my mood up and being there to talk to, especially Izzy. I truly could not be more grateful for those there, and also appreciate the fact that some friends haven’t been able to help because of work etc. I hope I’ve let people know how grateful I’ve been. Please forgive me if I haven’t. But with cancer, I believe luck is the main player and without that, nothing above will cure me.

I feel the most lucid I’ve felt in months and the time has been a blur, but really enjoyable as I’ve got to spend more time around my favourite people. I love all who have supported me, including the medical team, doctors, nurses and caterers, who have done a fantastic job and don’t get the respect (or pay!) they deserve. I couldn’t have asked for more.

Surgery starts early – in hospital at 6am, in theatre at 8am. Tubes will be inserted in my neck, back, wrists, before they even open me up. The plan is to completely remove the primary tumour, which involves the right adrenal gland, right kidney, gallbladder (you don’t need it, it is kind of like a small appendix) and up to half the liver. Luckily, I have a left adrenal gland and kidney that the cancer hasn’t touched, and the liver rejuvenates, so my quality of life shouldn’t suffer too much, if it all. They may also have to put a synthetic graft in a major vein but again it should not be too damaging other than major torso weakness and serious scarring – from my sternum across to my right side. I’m going to try to negotiate a cooler scar so I can make up stories about how I got it (e.g. street fights, tiger attack, walking into a lampost) but feel I might not win…

After surgery if all goes to plan I will be in intensive care for 2 days and then hospital for 7-14 days.. when I return home, I will slowly get more energy and less pain. I have a scan in approx. 4 weeks to decide on next steps (see if cancer is remaining etc). Stats wise, I’ve been told there’s a 1-2% mortality risk and a 5-10% chance I wish I hadn’t had the surgery. I guess these are bleak numbers (especially compared to my ACL keyhole surgery!), however, these are world-wide stats and don’t take in to account that I’m in a first world country. The surgery is life improving/extending. I’ve been told without it, I would probably not live longer than 12 months, so I’m willing to take the risk.

I’m feeling fit and healthy, particularly as mitotane wears off as I found out in my last test it was slightly high. You no longer take it in the week before surgery, so it should drop quickly. All in the good hands of the anaesthetist. I will turn my phone off now. Tomorrow I will be on strong painkillers and not that lucid but will make sure everyone knows how it goes. I should be allowed visitors the following week.

I’ve spent the afternoon writing this blog, listening to Kanye and discussing how he became the person he is. I think it makes sense: he had his major car accident and it led his genius and crazy sides to come out. Maybe it will be the same for me.

Big love x


Nailed it


Comments

  1. UnknownJanuary 12, 2019 at 7:34 AM

    Good luck with the surgery. It will be a success! X

    ReplyDelete
  2. UnknownJanuary 12, 2019 at 2:15 PM

    Speedy recovery wishes being sent from the USA.

    ReplyDelete

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